The Follies of Bejeweled

General

I’ll admit, I jumped on the proverbial bandwagon this morning and downloaded a copy of the new Bejeweled World of Warcraft addon from the fine people at PopCap Games that has inundated the blogging world.¹  Like many others, I’ve found it to be a fun way of spending time within the game that would otherwise be spent idling away and staring at the screen in dismay:

• Exceedingly long flights,
• Unexpected deaths, and
• While waiting for Battlegrounds and Arena match queues.

And while many have warned that use of the addon will slowly consume the amount of freetime that people used to have within the game, no one mentioned the other side effects.  Fortunately, in my efforts to bring you — my brave and dedicated readers — the true story, I’ll step forward the rectify that error this evening.

I was dabbling with Bejeweled and trying to understand the mechanics of the addon when one of my guild members contacted me, letting me know that she and her husband were trying to organize an impromptu Zul’Aman bear mount run this morning following the three day reset.²  Since I enjoy our raids and entertain thoughts of how wonderful it would be to have a bear mount of my own, I gleefully replied to her message, accepted the invite to the raid, and hopped onto the nearest gryphon.  Sadly, I was in Ironforge at the time and the flight to Zul’Aman is exceedingly long.

At this point, Bejeweled really begins to shine, as it not only tells me how long the flight it³ but also pops up and invites me to do a “challenge”: spend the duration of the flight playing the game, try to get a top score, and it’ll record it for future reference.  In other words, not only has the addon anticipated my impending boredom, but it also has provided me with incentive to try and do my best so that I can enjoy the challenge of future matches.  So the insidious game lulls me into a false sense complacency, allowing me to play, compete, and gradually increase my Bejeweling Skill.

I’m so engrossed in the game, mind you, that I continue to play even after I land and am patiently waiting to see who else would join us in our attempt this morning.  After a few moments, the screen flashes, bells and sirens go off, and I’m rewarded with a message saying that I have gained a significant rank in my Bejeweling Skill — which the addon promptly spits out into the guild channel.

Now, this perhaps doesn’t sound horrible at all to a casual acquaintance, but that relies mostly on the fact that that individual isn’t knowledgeable of my guild, the Drunken Badgers.  We Badgers are human-loving, fast-talking, street- smart, SLAM-dancing⁴ individuals who delight in imbuing vast quantities of the beverages of our personal preference.  We also, however, delight in ridiculing our friends, family, and fellow Badgers.  For example, any mention of “meat” while I’m around sends select members of my guild into gales of laughter due to an incident that occurred in the past — and I thoughtlessly shared.⁵

And while I made hastily made the effort to apologize for the spam and explain why I was suddenly a Journeyman Bejeweler, my guild hastily made the effort to mock me for it.  What follows is a transcipt of our conversation:

Csilla: [Bejeweled Addon]: I have become a Journeyman in Bejeweling Skill!
Csilla: Omigawd, it spits out spam.  I’m sorry!
Badger 1: Wow
Badger 2: grats!
Csilla: I’ll find out how to shut that off.
Badger 1: That should be like a title
Badger 3: awesome addon
Badger 3: : )
Badger 1: Csilla, Journeyman Bejewler
Csilla: I hate you guys.
Badger 4: haha
Badger 2: no you dont
Csilla: I didn’t realize that it spammed.
Badger 3: We can now provide emotional support and guidance for your jewelcrafting experience.
Badger 2: hehe
Badger 3: without the addon, we would never know that you needed us
Badger 3: we are here for you
Csilla: It’s done.  I turned off the damned spam.
Badger 4: boo
Badger 2: I changed your guild tag to represent you achivement, Csilla
Badger 2: so that all might share in your accomplishment
Badger 1: That’sa good idea. The world should know
Csilla: Not fair.
Badger 1: I’ll start spamming trade
Badger 2: I’ve got general
Badger 4: dibs on LFG
Badger 2: we have your back Csilla, no worries!
Csilla: Horrible, horrible people.
Badger 4: they will know, they will all know!
Badger 1: Major Kudos on your achievement!

Would you believe it, I did get some whispers while I was standing at the summoning stone congratulating me on my efforts and achievement?  And while I’ve avoided mentioning the names of the wretched people who felt the need to ridicule me so — as I’m not one to reward bad behavior! — I have indicated each of the transgressors by their class.

Jerks.

Related Posts

1. Further Incentive to Snag an Amani War Bear
2. Pimpin’ the UI: “Echoes of Doom” Edition
3. Have I Mentioned How Much I Miss My Guildies?